Journal Entry #1

Since college, I have been disappointed in my writing. I feel it's gotten worse, but I don't think it actually has. I'm not making time for myself to write, and I'm too hard on myself, waiting for my blogs to turn into something exciting, fully formed and popular.

Most popular blogs have a theme, so I made one. It makes sense for a flight attendant's blog to be about travel. I would love to log all my trips, whether they're for vacation or work, but some of them just aren't all that exciting to me anymore.

The monotony of my work day seems to make those first exhilarating moments in the air turn into a huge relief to just have my passengers out of the airport.Those times I used to let my hotel door slam closed as I leapt onto beautifully made bed have been made into moments of pure exhaustion and thankfulness to be alone.

Still, my job makes me so happy. It affords me opportunities I never would have dared to dream of as a child. So here I am, with the job of dreams, wondering what do I do next? And I have to say, I am very joyful otherwise. I am thrilled when I have quiet moments to meditate and pray. I am most happy when I get to go home to the man of my dreams. The only thing I think I am missing is pursuing a passion other than my career, and I have always recognized that to be writing. I am only held back by the only perfectionism I have (I am not a perfectionist by any means). I am very hard on myself when it comes to my work.

I started reading a book lately though that gave me hope, "Trees Tall As Mountains." This woman writes about her day to day life, about her kids and husband, and illustrates their lives in a hilarious way. She is a fantastic writer, and I can't put that book down. Her content, however, is so simple, and I love that she is also logging everything about raising her kids. I would love to look back on my entries from years before and see what I was thinking and feeling.

So here is my attempt and finally publishing without feeling my writing has a meaning. Its only purpose is not to teach anyone or become popular but to make me happier.