It's Day 15, the halfway point of my social media fast, and above all, I've learned smartphones are an addiction. It doesn't matter if you have social media or not. You can find ways to waste time on apps all day long, whether you have Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or any other form of social media or not. I deleted those apps and instantly found a drop in my phone use, going from an average of five to six hours on my phone daily to three. But soon, I was back to 4+ hours on my phone. Why? Because I started to use it as a pacifier again and find more apps to waste my time.
Am I using my phone more as a tool rather than a time waster? Yes, and no. I'm spending no time scrolling through my social media timeline, but I didn't delete YouTube. I wanted to still watch educational videos (and I do), but sometimes I scroll through the YouTube feed in the same way I did with my Instagram. Sometimes, I stare at my phone in boredom and look for updates in random applications. What's Spirit Junkie's affirmation for the day? What do my stocks look like now? Any new emails? I've been spending a lot of money too on Amazon because in my boredom, rather than jump my thoughts to gratitude for all the items I have, I begin to think of what I'm lacking, and I think I'm reaching for the same dopamine hit from online shopping that I was getting from scrolling through Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat.
Self control is the issue here, not social media use. I need to shut my phone in a room on the charger and walk away. Once I decide I have an important task to complete, I can put down my phone, maybe even turn on my music, and leave the room.
Over all, quitting social media has improved my mental health. I spend more time doing the things I love, rather than coveting other people's houses, cars, cool stuff, outgoing personalities, lives. I've stopped the comparisons and found, even more than I realized before, my life is pretty great! I started to see the good I'm doing in the world, whether it's a kind word to a friend or donating my time or money to a good cause. I've been calling my family more and thinking of how I can help/encourage them. I noticed how my thoughts are generally positive, and I don't complain often. And where I do need to improve, my mind is more quiet for me to recognize flaws and make solid improvements.
My mind was so loud before, constantly checking back and forth between social media pages, reading the latest updates on friends' lives and world events. It's like there was this turn-off switch that I never knew I had the power to find. Now I enjoy quieter mornings, starting my day with meditation (yes, I did that before, but it's easier when my brain isn't wondering what I'm missing out on online) and writing. I haven't published anything yet, but I've been practicing more and journaling almost daily. It feels good to get my thoughts down on paper and therapeutic to work through questions that come up.
When I do go back to social media (and yes, I still plan on it), I hope I can recognize the symptoms of being anxious over nothing. I hope I can turn the screen off and know when my phone use is doing me no use, and I would feel better going for a walk outside or journaling. I plan to keep the apps off my phone and only check social media on my computer, keeping all social media accounts logged out on my phone so if I accidentally type in Facebook out of habit, I have to log in, and it's just another step to keep me from a time-wasting mistake. Then when I am away from home and away from my computer, I am where I am now, with a quiet mind, embracing the present moment mindfully.