I Am Enough

I was listening to an interview last night, and the guest was talking about how people often get addicted to healing. They are chasing spiritual wisdom through books and classes, trying to heal themselves daily, which is all well and good, but we all need to stop for just a moment and realize we are enough. I am enough. You are enough. And when he said this, it hit deep because I saw myself in everything he was saying.

I have been chasing after more and more spiritual knowledge ever since the day I woke up. I seriously cannot get enough of it! And I've learned so much and helped myself in many ways in the process, but I have been stuck in the idea this whole time that I need to fix myself. That's the problem with self-help books, isn't it? The idea that we need to be fixed. It's right there in the name. Self. Help. The idea that we need help.

But what if we don't need help? What if you and I are absolutely enough in this very moment, always will be and always have been? Try that on for a moment. It feels amazing to me!

This idea reminds me of the moment I let go of the idea of being a sinner. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I didn't have to try so hard to be perfect; I could just be myself and be kind and honest without having to feel guilty when I inevitably make mistakes. Growing up in the church gave me all kinds of guilt and shame about messing up that perpetuated many negative loops that brought more negative and hardship into my life. But that could be an entire post in and of itself.

I struggle often today with the idea of not being enough. As a new mom, it's easy to look at dirty dishes and loads of laundry to do, along with a dirty house, and think I'm not enough. Or to see posts from other moms about their kids and see the baby book on your counter you've yet to feel out and think I'm not enough. Or have one moment of weakness, feeling intense anger and resentment for your whole life and identity changing, and think I'm not enough. But you are enough.

It's easy for me to look at my skills in life and compare them to other people's, especially in the internet age, and think why even try? So and so is a much better writer than I am. I'm not enough.

So I'm playing with this new idea because I'm tired of this thought being in my head. As soon as I notice my ego putting me down, railing on me for everything I've tried so hard to accomplish in the day but didn't quite measure up, I say, "I am enough." I'm stopping those thoughts right in their tracks because "I am enough." When I start to evaluate everything I think and notice my negativity or judgments and think I'll never change; I need to find some magic cure in all those books I've bought. I need to read more. Meditate more. Write more.

I take Gabrielle Bernstein's words to heart. Do less. Attract more. I can sit back, relax, and allow the blessings to flow into my life. Because I am enough.